“Which U.S. military branch has the nicest looking uniforms?”
This is one where we actually all came together as one. Say it with me now:
We are back in another installment of “Vets Answer Dumb Military Questions” where the premise is simple: people asked dumb military questions and, well, vets answer them. I guess I didn’t need to explain that.
But apparently there is much that does need to be explained. So let’s get to it:
Do soldiers ever name their weapons? | Dumb Military Questions 106
Our cast of veterans this week includes: August Dannehl (Navy), Jennifer Brofer (Marine Corps), Rosario Eléna (Army), Mark Harper (Air Force), Graham Pulliam (Marine Corps), Donna Callaway (Marine Corps), Jennifer Campbell (Army), Tara Batesole (Air Force), Chase Millsap (Green Beret — no branch required), and of course yours truly (Air Force).
Oh! And Megan Miller, our token civilian. And Ding Dong. Can’t forget about Ding Dong.
“Why do soldiers not use suitcases with wheels for loaded marches?”
Because wheels are for…
“Who would win if the United States Navy and Marines fought a war against the United States Army and Air Force?”
Millsap made a solid argument: “It happens every year. It’s called the Army Navy Game. Navy usually wins.”
But on the other hand, Campbell has a point: “Army and Air Force. Marines are dumb and then the navies transport them. So you have dumb people transporting dumb people.” ZING.
Harper argues that no one wins. “It’s just like Aliens vs. Predator.”
But if we’re all being really honest with ourselves, Pulliam has the correct answer:
“Coasties because everyone else would be f***ing dead.”
And let’s just face it: the Coast Guard really has won, right? They get to be by the water, saving lives every day, stopping drugs, hanging out with whales. My grandpa told me to join the Coast Guard and he was right.
You hear that, Gramps?? YOU WERE RIGHT.
“Are special forces-trained fighters more efficient at taking out attackers in unarmed combat than civilian martial artists?”
Guess what our answers were. Go on. Guess.
“What were the weird things you did when extremely bored while you were in the military?”
Hahaha, no one would make eye contact after reading this question.
“Do soldiers ever name their weapons and equipment? What’s the funniest or strangest you’ve heard?”
“Tits McGee” courtesy of Brofer’s battle buddies.
Voltrex. Pedro? Fart sack. Fluffy. Cher. Starfish Puckerbutt (and it has a story involved).
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