But, we can prank them till we’re all able to get food and healthcare
Gabriel Zucman’s research from the University of California recently reported that the very richest among us, (less than one percent of the one percent) have way more money than you do.
To be precise, the 400 richest Americans own more wealth than 150 MILLION of the rest of us put together. This of course assumes you are among the 150 million of us among the least wealthy.
If you read on Medium you are probably a writer so I assume you are one of us. And if you are one of the 150 million poorest, you probably need help.
But if we all got together and pooled our $150 million dollars that we DO have, we can just scrap enough together to afford to do a clever prank upon them. Let’s consider what it should be.
They have nicer designer suits than you. They have quieter castles than you. They have larger yachts than you. And, just guessing here, but their vacations are probably more lavish than our one day off per week where we get to go to Costco for groceries. They probably have richer laughter than you too, or at least full throated, deep and villainous laughter that passes as rich.
Do you want them to take away your gift of laughter too? No. You do not.
The prank we do should not be as mischievous as the French Revolution. That one seemed to get a bit out of control. But, because all the super-rich will always find a way to scapegoat the very poor, we should probably pull a prank that flips that script.
We could sneak into their gated communities and put out offers to do their yard work for slave wages. Then, we could take unsupervised ten minutes breaks when they are not looking. Or we could deliver their gourmet food when their drone is down, and take a few of the baby carrots.
Sneaking enough food to survive ensures we are all healthier for more pranks. The rich will not notice a missing crumb here and there because they almost never count anything. They don’t know math, which is why they are terrified of reformers like Bernie Sanders, AOC and Elizabeth Warren. When you earn an excess of $10,000,000 (ten million) per year, you shouldn’t miss the percentage of it that might provide one night’s shelter for a homeless family.
Or we could all learn to imitate their butlers, chauffeurs, maids, chefs and masseuses and sneak into their mega great oppression orgies and shout “PSYCHE!” just as soon as we’re done being exploited.
They won’t even know what happened because they really do have Eyes Wide Shut.
If all of us just put in a few more hours into the two or three jobs we are already working, we can rent a hall to host a really ritzy party. We will all wear tuxedos and gowns. We will buy those gowns in stores just like the one in Pretty Woman, where Julia Roberts is dissed by the clerks. But, unlike Pretty Woman, we will say very loudly before the clerk chases us off:
“I belong in a store like this, because I am not riff raff. Look at all these crumbled bills! I would like to buy Versace today, but, hmm, say, something smells strange in here. Oh, oops! it’s me, I must have stepped in something at the dog park. Bye.”
The proprietor will be surprised, confused and concerned. She will never find the dog poo, because you were just pulling her leg, get it? Then, her next wealthy customer, glaring, will sense the clerk’s anxiety, ensuring that the clerk provides slightly less obsequious service.
The rich really, really hate the sound that cognitive dissonance rattles in their brains when they sense others expect to be treated respectfully.
Remember one reason they control the purse strings is because they are entrepreneurial. That means they took a “risk” by investing their “time” and “money” into ventures that then became Starbucks, or Amazon, or ExxonMobil. Make sure your investment business growth plan risks involve addiction, because no one gets rich without people getting addicted. The product involved should be polluting, (like oil and coal), health impairing, (like fat and sugar and oxycontin) dangerous (like guns), evil, (like Monsanto), annoying, (like any product that roars, bleeps, blinks, or screeches).
To grow wealth, be subsidized by a bloated military budget or corrupt lobbyist. If you are already hanging out with rich people as an entrepreneur you will find they are all around you.
Many got this way by being able to afford healthcare, education, homes to live in, jet spas and personal trainers. So get those things, too.
But if you can’t afford them all, fake it till you make it by pretending your hovel is a grand hall, or you cardboard shack is a chalet.
The rich may not be fooled by whatever pranks you choose, but they might get a rattle of cognitive dissonance again. Then, they won’t even realize it’s actually the sound of pitchforks, torches and really inspiring activist signs until it is too late.