The Trump-bashing, bellicose lawyer, who was a cable news fixture for months, may have been “a figment of our collective imaginations” says FBI
He came and went so fast some people were made physically ill by the speed at which Michael Avenatti disappeared from cable television.
“We are not sure now whether the Avenatti character was ever even real,” said Special Agent Paul Lavendare, who is heading the investigation. “Although he seemed to be everywhere for months, his sudden disappearance suggests he was a carefully crafted TV illusion.”
Asked what evidence the FBI has that Avenatti never existed, Agent Lavendare said, “If you look closely, you can see a faint limn around Mr. Avenatti’s head in most video still captures, strong evidence that he was nothing but a persistent animation, albeit an almost technically perfect one.”
In answer to questions about how and why Avenatti ever came to be, Agent Lavendare gave an intriguing explanation: “We think he might have been a collective figment of the public’s imagination, conjured up because we all needed a bulldog to take on Donald Trump. We are now playing with the theory that Michael Avenatti was nothing more than a studio creation cooked up by some liberal Hollywood producers. We are speaking with media pranksters like Rob Reiner and Ron Howard right now to see if they were in on the Avenatti scheme.”
The FBI’s claim that Avenatti might have been an elaborate hologram is supported by anecdotal evidence from various sources.
Last week, Geraldo Rivera, a Fox TV talking head who used be a credible journalist, went public saying that during one interview with the imitation lawyer, “I went to shake his hand and grabbed nothing but air. I think we were all fooled by a three-dimensional light image with a very sophisticated voice track, nothing more. What other explanation is there for the Michael Avenatti figure vanishing like that? No real person would ever exit the celebrity spotlight so suddenly and without explanation. I can attest to that!”