Friend Avoids Other Friend Who Writes About Everything

Me: So, what’s going on with you and Axle lately? Talk to me.

Cor: Axle and I have been best friends since like 8th grade. Pretty regular friendship, you know, we like the same music, we tag each other in long distance Facebook posts, neither of us have girlfriends. We’ve become great friends.

Me: I see. Go on.

Cor: Well. (Sigh) Last year, Axle started this thing.

He’s been posting shit online for reasons nobody knows. I think he’s trying to like be some kind of… I don’t know. Whatever it is, it’s definitely not working. I don’t even know what his long-term goals—especially since he graduated with a degree in Art Theory. I just honestly don’t know where the writing came from. He really is a huge fucking nerd.

Me: Ah, so this bothers you?

Cor: Uhm yes, this bothers me.

Me: (nods)

Cor: He’s just unpredictable lately! He started out writing about melancholy, straightforward topics that were entirely safe and boring. I read like the first two posts and that’s it. They were alright, like I got the gist. To be honest though, I don’t care enough to read or whatever.

Me: Hm. So Axle’s writing is changing?

Cor: Kinda. For some strange reason, I read an article of his on Twitter the other day—I couldn’t believe it. He wrote a story about what happened to our other friend, Ben Garanamo. It’s super weird Axle was there, saw what happened, then went home and blogged about it. And not to mention, he didn’t even mention it. He just started reporting on it like a goddamn public servant! A true freak is among us.

Me: Oh. What did he say?

Cor: Well, he didn’t really mention us. I mean, he gave everyone a phoney cover up name — but they were ironically close. And what he said didn’t make a whole lot of sense either. I’m actually not even sure if what he wrote was real? Now that I think about it, it was some kind of satirical fiction nonsense that really wasn’t even funny.

Me: I’m confused.

Cor: Look, I’m just not hanging or communicating with him anymore! He writes too much. In fact, I’m having a really giant Super Bowl party with guest performances from Maroon 5 and Travis Scott. Guess who’s not invited? Axle. HA! I’m gonna make a separate group chat with the guys, isolating him specifically, then invite everyone without a word about to you-know-who. Afterwards I, myself, will write an article summarizing the entire event and passive-aggressively post it online!

Me: That seems a little harsh.

Cor: No, it’s really not. I refuse to play pawn in some ridiculous plot.

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