Spain tax office agrees hips don’t lie but same can’t be said of Shakira’s accountant

Shakira — the honesty of her hips can be claimed back against income tax up to a certain amount…..

The Spanish tax office has this week issued a statement confirming that hips don’t lie but unfortunately the same can’t be said of Shakira’s accountant.

Shakira has been charged with tax evasion in Spain where prosecutors allege the pop star failed to pay over $16 million (£12.7 million) between 2012 and 2014 and it is thought that whilst her hips are arguably one of the more honest parts of her body, there is still a question mark over the singer’s fingers when they hold a pen to fill out a tax return.

Spanish Government Tax Inspector, Mr. Payez De Money said, “we are pretty much 100% sure that Shakira’s hips don’t lie because if you watch the video for her single of the same name, the way her hips move is one of the most fundamentally honest things we’ve ever seen. The problem however is when she fills out a tax return and claims that she’s been living in the Bahamas when in fact she’s been living in Spain with her partner, the Spanish footballer Gerard Pique — then her hips are less truthful because they’re connected to her torso which is attached to her arms, that are connected to her hands, that are holding the pen, that is telling us a load of porkies on her SA103S Self-Assessment tax return.”

Tax rates are much lower in the Bahamas where Shakira co-purchased an island in 2011, but the Spanish Inland Revenue has confirmed that having unusually honest hips will not make up for the fact that she was probably living in Spain whilst claiming to be in the Bahamas because you can’t be in both places at once unless your hips are particularly wide — which anyone who has seen any of Shakira’s videos will know is not the case.

Shakira claims she owes nothing to the Spanish tax authorities and has stated that she is being used “as a scapegoat” to frighten other taxpayers into coming clean — none of whom she adds have hips that would score over 40% in a lie detector test.

“I never really knew that she could dance like this, she makes a man want to speak Spanish: ‘Pague sus impuestos o enfrente toda la furia de la ley,’ which loosely translated means pay your taxes or face the full fury of the law,” Mr. De Money added.

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