Entertaiment

A Compilation of Revamped Christmas Carols for the Aspiring LinkedIn Influencer in Your Life

Here’s a sneak preview of what our Christmas CD has got to offer:

1. Jingle Buy My eBook

This pop song features everything you could ever dream of: How to allocate less resources to Santa’s Workshop, why reindeer are a waste of time at job fairs, what the hell a bounce rate is, and how to convert your diary into an Info-graphic.

Photo by rawpixel on Unsplash

2. Network Around the Christmas Tree

A little ditty to remind you: NEVER stop networking. Make sure you’ve connected on LinkedIn with every cousin in the vicinity. Yes, even the toddlers. One day they’ll be vying for your management consulting position

3. O’ Holy Corporate Recruiting

This song features a LinkedIn private-message rap tailored just for your tastes. And by “just for your tastes,” we mean it’s also been sent to 50,000 young professionals in your greater metropolitan area. Are you interested in our latest pyramid scheme? Drop a line at your earliest convenience, or follow up with times available to make a quick phone call.

Photo by Helloquence on Unsplash

4. Last Quarter

A bluesy punk-rock ballad devoted to all financial failings from your past and the ROI that haunts you and your mortgage payment.

5. Holly Jolly Webinar

Did you want to learn about Search Engine Optimization for 2 hours via a weak WiFi connection next to your coworker who mouth breathes? Don’t answer that.

7. Rudolph, The Red-Nosed HR Department Director

He’ll alert you just in time to let you know your vacation days are running low. He’ll remind you open enrollment just began. He hasn’t changed positions at the company in 30 years. No, really, has anyone made sure he’s ever left that chair?

Photo by Tim Gouw on Unsplash

8. Baby, It’s Cold in This Cubicle

A chilling number for all the women in the office. This modern take on a classic date rape song now croons to the office temperatures geared toward men’s body heat. Best if listening next to chestnuts roasting on an open fire, for warmth of course.

9. All I want for Christmas is KPIs

Included because you secretly don’t remember what KPIs are, and we want you to feel bad about it.

10. Buzzword Baby

A sexy spin-off of Santa Baby, only this one goes out to all the city slickers who love holistic approaches and deep dives. They’ll talk about growth hacking on the first date and they ONLY drink black coffee.

11. Dreidel, Dreidel, Data Integration

Because we’d get in trouble with our boss if we didn’t include Hanukkah or a mention of data analytics.

Photo by Markus Spiske on Unsplash

12. Carol of the CRMs

A choir of middle aged women complaining to the manager about slow service during a Black Friday sale. They are all named Susan, and they will all clog up your customer service phone line.

Act now, and we’ll throw in our bonus DVD! This is an exclusive, pre-release offer of our newest winter film:

How the Mergers & Acquisitions Stole Christmas


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