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(Alleged) Sexual Predators Are Doing It For Themselves

Finally — (alleged) sexual predators are seizing the opportunities they deserve

Tyler Nix via Unsplash

It used to be that engaging in predatory behaviour toward women would condemn a man to a life of obscurity completely devoid of professional opportunities and personal fulfillment.

LOLZ just kidding! Let’s try this again.

It used to be that engaging in predatory behaviour toward women would result in no consequences whatsoever for men, AND that accepting men’s predatory behaviour was just a regular part of being a woman in society. Well, the #metoo movement has really fouled that up: now, (allegedly) abusive men are forced to endure a public shaming that last for days, if not a month. During this egregious “trial by hashtag,” many influential figures tend to step in to vouch for the accused’s good character, while the accusers tend to have their lives ruined. The dreaded court of public opinion makes life extremely/slightly less easy for the men it affects.

Luckily, some of these men have decided to step up and say “no more.” They are refusing to let #metoo stop them from getting opportunities most women can only dream of, and doing it all with the self confidence that a woman who still hasn’t quite mastered how to “lean in” could never in her wildest dreams summon. Amazing!

Take Jian Ghomeshi for instance. His career was ruined when sexual assault allegations about him came out. His accusers were numerous. But he was exonerated in a court of law, which everyone knows is the same thing as being innocent, and now he is on the cover of the New York Review of Books. All with a ruined career, reputation, and life, Ghomeshi was able to convince this venerable publication to allot him a paltry 3600 words to wryly excuse himself for the harm he has done. How many words would he have had if his career hadn’t been ruined by the “social media mob?” One can only surmise.

And take Judge Kavanaugh, who is well on his way to *earning* an appointment to the Supreme Court of the United States of America. Some mean and grumpy Democrats are trying to derail this honourable man’s nomination simply because a woman brought forth a credible allegation of sexual misconduct. Lame!! Kavanaugh didn’t let that stop him, instead gathering testimonials from women he interacted with but didn’t assault, which just goes to show the extra hurdles that alleged sexual predators must clear in order to participate in our society as elite and powerful citizens. Incredible!!

And now for perhaps the most inspiring success story: President Donald Trump. After a recording surfaced of Trump casually bragging about sexually assaulting women, he faced serious consequences. Voters wondered if he really had what it took to ascend to the highest office in the USA. Could he “act presidential?” The situation worsened after rape allegations made by Trump’s ex-wife again entered public consciousness. After days of speculation, voters recalled that they had elected a series of (alleged) predators before Trump, so he fit right in. And faced with the prospect of voting for a girl (EWWWW!!), voters instead championed the creep who could put women in their place and make them stay there. Bravo, President Trump!

It should be noted that many other (alleged) predators are forced to languish in obscurity from anywhere from ten minutes to six months, with only their wealth and mostly-still-intact prestige to shelter them from the hardships that us plebes face on a daily basis. Here’s looking at you, Louis CK 😉

(Alleged) sexual predators face barriers that would derail many. They must do so much extra work, such as writing in prestigious journals to attest to their innocence, assembling lists of women that can vouch for their status as “one of the good ones,” and even dismissing allegations as an afterthought before easily ascending to the highest office in America. But at the end of the day, men like these ones are the backbone of our society, mainly because firmly entrenched power structures ensure that these inspiring men cannot be held accountable for their actions in any meaningful way. Patriarchy FTW!!!


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