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When Trump Attacks: A complete MANIAC plots his NEXT move!

America’s Dancing-Monkey-Wearing-A-Top-Hat IS VEXED At The FBI

A Presidential Place-Holder becomes the NEW face of flatulence. (illustrations by: Mark M Johnson)

Oh, that silly, silly goose, Donald J. Trump, is STILL UPSET that the FBI refuses to let rich people like himself commit treason and break all known, written, laws as they see fit.

Trump is VERY vexed about his obviously concussed lawyer Michael “CAT-Scan” Cohen, being in trouble for silly things like “bank fraud”, and “illegal campaign contributions”. The FBI’s raid on Michael Cohen’s office, apartment, hotel room, car, and gym locker, was described by Trump as “a disgrace”.

I know this because Trump, on television, said the words “a disgrace” 1,273 times within a span of just two and a half minutes, much like a lunatic would.
I literally expected him to put his MAGA hat on backwards, and just start rapping the word ‘disgrace’ shortly after angrily demanding “a beat”.— This was going on during a special military meeting about Syria, by the way. Actual, serious, adults from the military were watching Mr. Trump blather incoherently about firing Robert Mueller, and the FBI, and any judges who approve warrants, and the couriers who picked up and delivered the warrants.

Now, according to various sources inside the White House: Trump is “EXTREMELY GASSY, even more so than usual, and has been floating six inches above his chair for several hours!”. Trump also, reportedly, “ranted and raved like a maniac”. (I know,… it’s weird because he almost never does that, except for when he’s awake).

Trump is becoming unhinged. FUSSY! And oh, I’m PRETTY SURE his short-term plans include firing Attorney General Jeff “Mr. Magoo” Sessions (inventor of gluten-free recusal & racism tree-cookies, but “he couldn’t recall” the recipe).

Jefferson Sessions, CEO of ©KKKids, which manufactures child-sized KKK robes.

Mr. Sessions will go back to the tree he’s lived in since being cursed by Gypsies in the early 1860’s, and be replaced with (the EPA’s natural predator, and also, head of the EPA) Scott Pruitt, in hopes Pruitt can quickly bankrupt the Justice Department with lavish Scott Pruitt-based expenses.

Trump’s grand scheme is: that once Scott Pruitt spends the entire DOJ’s budget over the course of just six hours — on a trip for himself, and his family, and his 20 member team of armed guards, to Paris, and gives lavish raises to his friends, some of whom don’t even show up to work for months on end, the entire DOJ will be reduced to a staff of 1 receptionist, and a post-it note pad. Trump thinks that will stop the DOJ from “DOING ANYTHING” to stop Trump’s “INSANE CRIME & TREASON SPREE”.

Trump will have Pruitt fire Rod Rosenstein and Robert Mueller, and then he’ll quickly hustle Pruitt back over to the EPA to continue reshaping the environment to be compatible with Pruitt’s own species (so that once they land their transport-ships on Earth, they can begin “The Reclaiming”, fulfilling the ancient prophecies of Pruitt’s alien race).

Pictured: The exact lunatic in charge of protecting our AIR and WATER, which WE use — to stay alive!

Who will replace Mueller? Short list is: Donald Trump Jr., or Jared Kushner to lead the investigation. How this will effect Kushner’s plans to bring peace to the Middle East, or Don Jr.’s plans to murder every living animal, remains to be seen.

Here’s the problem. Connecting random insane actions and resultant consequences isn’t Donald Trump’s “thing”.

Trump measures the consequences of his actions the same exact way I drive a car. Like an angry walrus on PCP.

And now, Trump is using his preciously limited supply of brain function to attempt to rid himself of Robert Mueller.

So, remember all the brouhaha over Trump firing James “Oh Lordy” Comey? Well, picture that times a thousand. Instead of a simple brouhaha, it will be a full scale hullabaloo!!

And THIS time, the Republicans in the House and the Senate will see the “fruits of their labor ”protecting Trump, turn into the “Grapes Of Wrath” from the voting public. There are rats with waddled necks and expensive suits jumping off of Trump’s sinking ship.

With the Blue Wave riding the tides, now would be the time for them to find themselves a life-vest.

Written by Steven Rouach. Illustrations by Mark M Johnson

©2018 SWRouach


When Trump Attacks: A complete MANIAC plots his NEXT move! was originally published in Extra Newsfeed on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.
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