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Trump Sings “Buy, Buy, My American Lie”

TrumPooning Tunes

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Inspired by and sung to Don McLean’s American Pie (Sing it!)

A long, long time ago
I can still remember how
Mob money used to make Dad smile
And I knew if I had my chance
I’d make my con in high finance
And keep the bankers happy for a while

In ninety-one, I’m outta cash
Ninety-two, my credit’s trash
‘04, got more nutsy
‘09, my fourth bankruptcy

I can’t remember if I cried
’Cause I’m, married to my third, young bride
Incompetent, but had my pride
The day Vlad turned the tide

So ..
Buy, buy, my American lie
Forced the GOP to like me, now I’m Ryan’s main guy
McConnell’s boys know principles don’t apply
Singin’ failing New York Times knows I lie
Fox News is my loyal ally

ME, I wrote that book you love
“Art of the Deal”, gave God a shove
Replaced the Bible, #1

To rule the world is still my goal
Made that decision, sold my soul
For sure, I’ll always be a Twitter troll

Well, I know that things are looking grim
’Cause I come-off looking pretty dim
I play to right-wing views
And the Dems sing electoral blues

I am a horn dog, news hog, screwed-up schmuck
With a pink puss-hat that I grabbed for luck
Democracy’s in deep swamp muck
Since Vlad helped turn the tide

I started singin’
Buy, buy, my American lie
Forced the GOP to like me, now I’m Ryan’s main guy
McConnell’s boys know principles don’t apply
Singin’ failing New York Times knows I lie
Fox News is my loyal ally

Now, for one year I’ve been on my own
McFast-food fattened, and meth-snort stoned
The public’s getting used to me

Not braggadocio, but my hair, Hope preens
Have you seen Hope move in those tight blue jeans?
And a voice said, “What’s the price for loyalty?”

I’m America’s King, but I might go down
That pop’list scam’s a thorny crown
The witch hunt won’t adjourn
My lawyers still seem concerned

And though, Jared works on Mid-East peace
They still suspect Vlad funds his lease
Will Mueller’s research never cease
Need Vlad to turn the tide

And I keep singin’ ..
Buy, buy, my American lie
Forced the GOP to like me, now I’m Ryan’s main guy
McConnell’s boys know principles don’t apply
Singin’ failing New York Times knows I lie
Fox News is my loyal ally

Helter skelter, I never felt her
And no such thing as a rich tax shelter
Just donor thank-you’s Koch-Bro style

No truth, I handled Stormy’s ass
I just do proper and with proper class
Melania’s mad, my story’s such a pile

So she fought my stench with sweet perfume
While I changed the subject and my tune
Perhaps, a horizontal dance
Then, Slovenia’s “you’re dead” glance

To Mar-a-Lago on Air Force One
’Cause being POTUS ain’t no fun
Banking tax dollars, I have won
Some say, Vlad turned the tide

And I keep singin’ ..
Buy, buy, my American lie
Forced the GOP to like me, now I’m Ryan’s main guy
McConnell’s boys know principles don’t apply
Singin’ failing New York Times knows I lie
Fox News is my loyal ally

Now, with Devin‘s memo, we’re raisin’ hell
Sure, it’s full of lies, but who can tell
Declassify, it helped my cause

Schiff may be nimble, but Schiff’s not quick
Or he’d know, rebuttals almost never stick
And might not even see the light of day

We knew how fake news would engage
Prepped Fox and Friends to voice our rage
Sean, also got my script
Jake, not so well-equipped

And Rachel spewed her left wing spam
Recall, our sacrificial lamb
My taxes leaked by me. Thanks ma’am
Hey Vlad, I turned the tide

And I was singin’ ..
Buy, buy, my American lie
Forced the GOP to like me, now I’m Ryan’s main guy
McConnell’s boys know principles don’t apply
Singin’ failing New York Times knows I lie
Fox News is my loyal ally

Just as I rise in the national polls
Tax plan passed, infrastructure goals
A sex abuse crisis lands on me

Turns-out ex’s singing the blues
Have put Rob Porter in the news
What’s with women always claiming they’re abused

The Gen’ral and me tried to save his job
‘Cause we believe guys, and especially Rob
Victim words unspoken
Until momentum broken

So I told Kelly, take the fall
Important, I’m above it all
Tell Sarah she must fake appalled
Need Vlad to turn the tide

And I’m still singing ..
Buy, buy, my American lie
Forced the GOP to like me, now I’m Ryan’s main guy
McConnell’s boys know principles don’t apply
Singin’ failing New York Times knows I lie

Fox News is my loyal ally

I was singing
Buy, buy, my American lie
Forced the GOP to like me, now I’m Ryan’s main guy
McConnell’s boys know principles don’t apply
Singin’ failing New York Times knows I lie

If you liked this one, you’ll probably like this one — but don’t forget your claps):

Trump sings 70’s classic gold, “Signs”


Trump Sings “Buy, Buy, My American Lie” was originally published in Extra Newsfeed on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.
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