Here we are again, Chicago! At the bottom of the garbage chute digging furiously through the smelly piles of shit hoping to find the lost meaning that we pinned onto 2017. Is it behind this somehow wet cardboard box? No! Is it under this heap of dented, mushy produce? Nope! Is it amidst this ball of vacuum cleaner hair? Not likely! Any sort of meaning, hopes, dreams or wishes given over to 2017 have long since been burned in the incinerator or been shipped off to the great swirling garbage island in the middle of the ocean. So let’s raise a glass of whatever was cheapest at Trader Joe’s and set this barge full of shattered corpses and sloppy remains ablaze as we watch it sail into the eternal sunset of another year gone by (into Hades as far as I’m concerned).
It’s no secret that, personally, 2017 was a banner year. If that banner read something along the lines of ‘see how much you can cry this year!’ or ‘see how many times you are NOT able to hide your emotions in public!’ or ‘I did not see that one coming (but aside from the fire, I kinda did)!’ I won’t get into the nitty gritty because I have already pulverized the nitty into the tiniest amount of gritty and though it will remain stuck in the carpet forever it can no longer (and shouldn’t be) seen. I had prided myself on the ability to feel nearly nothing for the past several years and suddenly I found myself staring at the underside of a tidal wave and while everyone around me ran for cover, I stood and watched as the water crashed over me. Instead of standing up I just lay down in the surf and let my mouth fill with sand and my hair become matted with salt.
Personal feelings aside, 2017 was a roaring good time for everyone else from what I can tell. To start it off right we hired a buffalo chicken drummy that fell into a pile of cat hair to be the captain of the ship. Ok, yes! We let the people around us feel like second-class citizens and inhuman. We let families and children and POC and women wonder if anyone gives a shit about them or if all along we’ve been pretending at some semblance of openness and equality. Great, sounds good! And that was only in January alone! There isn’t enough time in well hey, a year, to write about how it only continued to get more wonderful from there. It was like a scene from a movie after a bomb goes off and everyone wanders around the charred landscape while pieces of burnt wood fall from on high and embers rain from the sky. Just when you thought one more bad thing couldn’t happen, somebody finds a hidden landmine and the whole thing just goes up in smoke again.
What can we truly look at as a shining moment for 2017? Personally, I learned a lot about myself (the fact that I would even say such trite bullshit should be a testament to how truly awful 2017 was) and started the foundation on some and added scaffolding to other friendships that I truly did not know were everything I needed. Publicly, It was wonderful to see people come together to support one another and to fight back against all types of adversity. It was amazing to see friends come to one another’s aid and to see them rally behind one another. Is this enough to wipe the slate clean and say ‘it’s ok 2017, you tried’? Ha.
I’m not one for resolutions. I don’t believe in funneling all of your aspirations for yourself and your year into one specific day. I don’t believe that the setting and rising of one particular sun and moon can make a difference. But there is something to be said for the demarcation of time, a symbolic closing of one chapter to open another and fuck if I’m not ready to slam that book shut. I think we all are. So let’s not say that come 12:01 am on January 1st 2018, everything is going to be different because it sure as hell isn’t. The past isn’t going to stay on the other side of the line so you better make sure your bindle is tied up good and tight when you cross on over. Let’s just say that we can take a moment as another year goes by to recognize the passage of time and hope for better things as we continue to move forward, for ourselves, for each other, and for the world. Gird your loins, 2018, because we’re all comin’ in hot.