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Jared Kushner, Wanker in the White House

Jared Kushner, Wanker in the White House

When I close my eyes and envision the archetypal wanker, my mind conjures up the face of Jared Kushner. You have to consider the lineage and biographical sketch of who this man is to fully appreciate the deployment of the epithet “wanker” in all of its opprobrium. Kushner has held up the figure of his father as his beacon and his idol. Let’s consider that against the backdrop of what his father did and who he is.

Charles Kushner, an attorney, helped his father–Jared’s grandfather–grow a New Jersey-based real estate business which, from the 1980s to early 2000s boomed. The business practices of the Kushner family concern were not exactly blemish-free. In 2004 Charles ran amok and came to federal attention when he was fined $500,000 by the Federal Election Commission (FEC) for making campaign contributions in the name of his business partnership without obtaining authorization. The US Attorney’s Office in New Jersey, headed up by future governor Chris Christie, launched further investigations into the political involvements of Kushner and his associates. Dad’s sordid activities included the illegal placing of $90,000 in contributions under Jared’s name while he was at Harvard Law. What kind of a shit-head implicates his own son in illegal activities in such fashion?

Jared’s dad’s illegal doings ultimately resulted in 18 Federal Charges, including; illegal campaign contributions, witness tampering and tax evasion. He pleaded guilty on all 18 counts and was sentenced to 2 years in prison. In an attempt to undermine some of the charges through witness manipulation, Charles went about as low as it goes. Mr. Kushner sent his sister, Esther, a video-tape of her husband, William Schulder, with a prostitute that he had hired in order to discredit him as he was then cooperating with the federal investigation.

Charles Kushner Sentencing

Jared’s Dad did 18 months in Federal prison in Montgomery, Alabama. The dutiful son visited his idol every week during his incarceration. How touching.

On his release from Federal prison, Charlies returned home to his empire, still a multimillionaire, and resumed business as usual. He brought along two friends–two former cell-mates, white collar criminals just like him–who were promptly hired through a Kushner company second-chance program. Most of us who have worked for justice reform would rightfully spew out this misuse of the second-chance moniker.

Jared, of course, had the ill-gotten empire of his father plopped right into his lap. Jared also carried a grudge: He would later play a decided role in exacting retribution against Chris Christie and his allies during the campaign…cos, you know, when you’re a spoiled rotten, privileged little shit who idolizes your felonious father you have all sorts of moral and ethical leverage to condemn the likes of Chris Christie.

Smirking Wanker Before the Senate Judiciary Committee, Given a Dead-Line

Yesterday, Jared was forced to appear yet again before a Congressional Committee investigating Trump Campaign activities and involvements with Russian interests. This time, the Senate Judiciary Committee. Lest we forget, the reason the poor wanker keeps getting dragged back before Congressional Committees is that he keeps lying. He lied about seeking to establish back-channels for communication with the Russian government. He lied when he filled out his security clearance forms. He has lied about his financial involvements repeatedly. He has failed to disclose his business associations over and over again and he has lied about meetings he either orchestrated or participated in with a variety of shady figures with Russian ties.

Jared’s name turns up over and over again and, due to his misstatements, shaky relationship with the truth and his failure to be forthcoming he has managed to become a special project of Special Counsel Mueller’s investigations. Jared isn’t a victim, he’s a smirking perpetrator.

His appearance before the Senate Judiciary Committee yesterday did not quell questions nor did it put to rest what has fast become accelerated suspicions. Senators Grassley and Feinstein, in a bipartisan moment of clarity and commendable decisiveness, sent Kushner a letter ordering him to provide complete sets of documents noting that what he has submitted thus far is “incomplete”. Of particular interest are security clearance submission forms and listings and e-mails detailing his exchanges with Russian Officials. He has until November 27th to submit the missing documents. Ruh-roh. Smirk your way out of this one, Jared.

666 5th Avenue, Jared’s Money-Pit

The numerical marker seems darkly appropriate: While Evangelicals flocked to the banner of the Orange Beelzebub how fitting that the son-in-law of their Trumpenfuhrer should hold as his primary financial investment a property bearing the mark of the Biblical Beast.

Jared Kushner at 666 5th Avenue

You see Jared sank over a billion dollars (according to all with expertise an horrendously over-inflated price-tag) into a property in upper Manhattan which sits at 666 5th Avenue. Currently, Jared is unable to make payments on the real estate and has been for some time. He stood to lose everything if the deal went down. We know that Jared and other members of his family have engaged in some questionable schemes in an attempt to generate revenue to keep the family’s fortunes from tanking completely. One example was provided when Kushner’s sister, on a trip to China, dangled the enticement of HB1 Visas before prospective investors. During his tenure on the Trump Transition team, Jared jetted around the world moving and shaking, using his political clout with Ivanka’s pops to cash in.

Mueller and his team are scoping this out with deliberate focus and dedication, very discretely and exhibiting only the highest level of professionalism. They are building a case, tracking down all of the strands in this sordid drama.

Jared is smirking now, but he won’t be for long. Never, in the history of the Republic, have we seen this level of nepotism and corruption. Don’t worry, Jared, your idol crafted you well. But in the end you’re going to end up wearing an orange jump suit just like your father. You have besmirched the halls of power and your continued presence sullies everything we honor. It won’t be long before the smirk fades and all that will be left will be the pasty-faced, vacuous wanker that we all know you have been all along. It won’t be long.

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