LGBT

(Not so much) Sex and [a whole lot of] the City: Coke on a bag, gin on a can

It’s like “Sex and the City” but almost everybody’s gay and take Uber all the time…

Being young-ish and worry less (ish) is great.
Well, not so great, maybe it’s just plain expensive

It’s 10 o’clock on a Saturday night, D and I are having drinks at my place, waiting for A to pick us up

D: Do you mind?
J: Not at all, just don’t let that shit fall on the carpet or over my cat, I’d hate having to vacuum my cat because you spilled coke over her.
D: What kind of amateur do you think I am? (He pulls out a tiny bag from his coat, filled with white coke, it’s like that scene in the first Harry Potter movie when Hagrid pulls random thing out of his pocket at Gringotts, except in this case, instead of a twelve feet giant, D is a skinny eight feet mexican. Using the tip of one of his keys, D takes a tiny amount of coke and brings it up to his nose, then snorts really hard. I can’t help to think that that seems a rather pedestrian way to do such and expensive drug, but maybe I’m just really influenced by all those movies in the 90’s where people did coke using 100 dollar bills and so,and maybe coke isn’t even that expensive anymore). Anyway, why are going out, again?

Apparently, people have stopped doing coke like this since the Bush administration

I get a message from A, he’s 5 minutes away, which means it’s time to ask an Uber so it arrives at the same time as A. We’re taking an Uber because of one of the few rules I have: nobody drinks and drive, why? It’s just plain irresponsible, and it’s not the 90’s anymore, now you can just pay people to suffer the hell that is driving in Mexico City at night with a car full of drunk/drugged people.

J: Why are we going out tonight? We’re going out because I helped A to close a big deal or something, and he’s paying me back with drinks (D snorts using a different nostril). Why are going out, like, any night? Because we’re spoiled kids with way more money than we need to fulfill our basic needs and not enough money to be worried about going out and getting kidnapped (D puts his white bag back into the pocket of his coat)
D: I don’t worry about anything, ever. I pay an expensive therapist so she can get crazy for me. Sorry, I forgot to ask, do you want some? (He points to the pocket of his coat)
J: Naah, I’m good, I don’t do coke, I’d hate to deprive the world of the wonderful human being I become when I’m drunk (D laughs, and we toast with our drinks, I’m having canned gin tonic, and D is having vodka soda, from my personal bar)

The Uber arrives, D and I walk down the stairs, we are greeted by a chilly wind, well, as chilly as Mexico City’s weather can get. We get into the car and the driver greets us, I tell him we’re are waiting for somebody else, and five seconds later A gets into the car, kiss me on the cheek and mumbles something about being sorry for being late. D and A also salute each other with a kiss in the cheek and to this point I’m pretty sure the Uber driver has realized this is going to be a long gay trip.

A: Sorry, I wasn’t able to leave the office on time. Is it so hard to ship something on time from Tianjin? (He seems annoyed, but he’s wearing such expensive clothes it’s natural to assume he’s going to be annoyed all the time)
D: It seems that not as hard as scheduling some free time to meet with friends. I haven’t see you in ages, I thought you died of karooshi (D punctuates with a perfect japanese accent)
J: Is that the new sushi place downtown? (I reach for the aux cord, and start to play some music from a playlist we all love called “Pasiva entrona con lugar”, which can be roughly translated to “Available power bottom”)
A: Yeah, I went there, they serve that awful creme-cheese interpretation of what sushi is. I’m not going back (A and I have this little hobby of driving D insane with bad racist jokes each time he tries to teach us something in Japanese)
D: You’re both idiots (He laughs, I thought people on coke didn’t laugh, they just ran in circles like hamster on a wheel and worked as brokers). ‘Karooshi’ means death by overwork, or as A calls it, Tuesday.

We all laugh, except for the Uber driver, who starts to look at the GPS to see how much this torture is going to last. That’s how we know it’s going to be a good trip: by the worried look of the driver. In my mind I picture a coyote with a trapped leg, trying to chew his way out of a bear trap.

J: I don’t think you can criticize A, you’re both workaholics. I never figured out why things didn’t worked out between the two of you
D: It’s easy, it didn’t worked out because I want to find the love of my life, whereas A just want to find a discount and free shipping offer on anything that’s in his Amazon wish list
J: (I turn to A and pat him on the shoulder) I’m really sorry Disney messed up with your head so bad you think only rich people living in a castle live happily ever after
A: Well, I don’t want to get married, marriage is just not a good investment, and this dude over here is always in the search of the ideal husband, which, let’s face it, it’s not going to find in one of those fuck-places he likes so much
J: (I turn to D and pat him on the shoulder) I’m really sorry Disney messed up with your head so bad you think you need a husband to be happy ever after, or at least a complete human being
D: Well, this bitch seems happy
A: Yeah, how’s so? You’re not in your ever gloomy, ever cranky mood, are you finally on antidepressants?
J: I told you, I become a wonderful human being when I’m drunk

I pull another can of gin tonic out of my coat, D laughs, A rolls his eyes probably thinking that drinking gin from a can is not as much as bohême as I think it is but plain disgusting.
The Uber drives into the mexican night,maybe a Saturday night is like Hagrid at Gringotts: full of pockets filled with random things. Things to offer to three gay guys who are trying to run away from their ennui and willingly pay the price.




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