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Lego Porn: The Story of How Jared Kushner’s Private Email Account Was Revealed.

Not Satire But Guaranteed To Make You Laugh.

Yes, this picture will become relevant.

Trumpers, still shouting “lock her up” for Clinton’s use of private email for White House business, were a bit put off by this week’s revelation that nepotism inspired Trump Advisor, and Son In Law Jared Kushner, did the same. White House Spokesman Sarah Huckabee Sanders hastened to inform us that this same as Clinton thing was all okay because Kushner just did it a little bit (actual words “very limited”). “Very limited” was later defined as about 100. The President brilliantly took one for the team with clever distractions from the putatively felonious story by calling NFL players sons of bitches and blaming Puerto Rico’s hurricane disaster on Puerto Rico.

Better than the deliciously rich irony of Trump’s Son In Law doing what Trump campaigned on imprisoning Clinton for doing is the emerging story of how Kushner’s private email account was discovered. This is so good it deserves the start of its own paragraph.

An email prankster pretending to be Kushner emailed Kushner’s attorney Abbe Lowell asking how to get embarrassing porn related emails off his computer. The fake Kushner, using the ghosted email account kushner.jared@mail.com, asked Lowell how to remove emails from the account featuring (ahem) “adult content.” As the exchange continued, in one of the emails Lowell’s computer autofilled Kushner’s private email address tipping the prankster off. The prankster then revealed it all to CNN.

Lowell asked if the emails came from White House officials and Fake Kushner responded that some came from White House officials with whom he had discussed (ahem) “a shared interest of sorts.” Trust me, we will get to the prankster’s fabricated “shared interest,” it’s the best part of the story.

Lowell told fake Kushner to forward the emails for his review, to which fake Kushner responded (this is the good part) as follows:

“But we can bury it? I’m so embarrassed. It’s fairly specialist stuff, half naked women on a trampoline, standing on legoscenes, the tag for the movie was #standingOnTheLittlePeople” [frowny face emoticon].”

I thought this incredibly original. I was wrong.

This “Film” Is Now A Political Statement

Folks, this is all true. I don’t know the full ramifications for this other than one. On porn sites everywhere people are now searching for “naked women on trampoline legoscenes” and “OnTheLittlePeople.” I will leave this search to my dedicated readers.




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